midlife crisis?

I have all sorts of really good posts swirling around in my brain right now.

But, as is common with me.... I just can't pin down what I want to say.

This one has been swirling around for a long time though, so here goes....


I have come to the realization that I must be embarking on a midlife crisis.

I turn 37 in a few months and it's affecting me more than I ever thought possible.

I absolutely HATE dwelling on the negative... but I find myself thinking of all of the things I haven't done or had that I thought my life would include.

Is this why I'm so messed up when it comes to my relationship with J? I mean, I wanted the fairy tale. I wanted a man that always told the truth. I wanted to be one of those couples with lots of couple-friends who social every weekend. I wanted babies.

I think the problem is that I keep typing "wanted" when I should be typing "want."

I keep trying to live by my mantra "focus on what you have, not on what you don't have." But these things I don't have are feeling like deal-breakers right now.