A new post -- finally

LOTS of randomness today:

• Things aren’t as rocky with J as they were several months ago. I have partly just accepted that this is what it is (hate being that weak) and J seems to have his shit more together as well. I have no doubt that there will be times in the future when I want to walk away. And I wonder if this is about me or J. For now I am just doing the best I can which is to live in this moment.

• The Teenager and her boyfriend broke up. J and I are both very pleased with this development because he came on the heals of me finding a very inappropriate picture that he had texted to her. Ironically, he broke up with her saying he needs to find God. After the picture he texted her I agree that he needs to find something. The Teenager seems unscathed which I hope is true. There have been no dramatic bawling fits or anything like that – she amazes me sometimes – if that were me at her age I would have been a wreck.

• Work is boring as hell right now. It irritates me when my job ends up fitting into the stereotypical federal worker mold.

• This weekend is our family’s annual “vacation,” which involves leaving town for a long weekend for an antique sale. J is an antiques dealer so this is a working vacation when we sell stuff, but it is still a vacation nonetheless. We get really excited because we stay at a hotel and go out for dinner at a nice small town supper club. It’s all perspective, and for us this is a nice break.

• I definitely want a baby. I need to loose weight in order for it to even be a possibility. This has to do with my ovaries and pre-diabetes and yep, if I want to get pregnant I need to loose some of this fat. I hope this isn’t the reason that I’m sticking with J, but that may very likely be the case (boo).

• I finished up my capstone for my master’s and only have one straggler class that isn’t offered until November. Capstone is the big, final one, so finishing that is a wonderful feeling. I am too much of a perfectionist because I am pissed that I missed 2 out of 420 points in the class. Clearly still an A, but also clearly still an extreme perfectionist.

• We’re going on a real vacation in January or February. We haven’t been anywhere since 2004 and we need to go before The Teenager becomes The Adult. I am giddy just thinking about planning a real vacation. We’re going somewhere warm other than Mexico, and hopefully to an all inclusive resort so we can be bums. We’ll be celebrating my graduation and The Teenager’s 16th birthday (which occurred earlier this month). Can’t wait!