Tanning when you're a fatty

You know. I am not as slim as I used to be.

I went tanning the other day. Since we're going on vacation and I am white as a ghost, I am trying to get a little base tan.

I haven't been to a tanning booth since the early 1990s. Back then, I was 1/2 the size I am now.

It is different to tan when you're fat. And the scary thing is that I think the tanning booth got larger. But I still could barely manage to get all of my parts exposed to the rays. Lord only knows what kind of tan lines I'm creating.